As you may have heard, the Bush Administration is seeing to it that every one of us will get now get a nice rebate. Of $300 to $600 per person, $1,200 for families. But he expects us to spend it as soon as we get it. Now…
If we spend the money at Wal-Mart, most of our loot will go to economies of China.
If we spend it on gasoline most of our loot will go to economies of Middle East oil suppliers.
If we spend it on fruit and vegetables most of our loot will go to the economies of Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
If we purchase a good car most of our loot will all go to Japan’s economy.
If we purchase electronic gadgets most of our loot will go to Taiwanese or Malaysian economies.
But we need to keep that money at home to strengthen our economy here. So the best way to spend your rebate checks on America’s four most self-sustaining, self-sufficient industries: Prostitution, Beer, and Pharmaceuticals and Guns.
That’s right folks—it’s time for every red-blooded patriotic American to bite the bullet and start hitting the strip clubs, throwing keggers and loading up on Viagra, Celebrex, and OxyContin. Oh yeah, and buying as many guns as possible.
Your nation’s national security and economy are depending on you getting doped up, sex-ed up and shot up. Juest remember to shoot last--we need to fill up the cash registers before we fill up the hospitals.
God Bless America.
(By the way, my name is Elliot Spitzer and I approved this message.)
