All hail the almighty dollar.
Wherever there’s money
you know power will follow.
—Queen Latifah
Wherever there’s money
you know power will follow.
—Queen Latifah
Let’s face it: For all the talk of blazing trails and “doing what you love” most are just out for loot; everything else is just conversation. For a while I was no different. By age 27, I was neck-deep in The Hustle and focused on getting money. But as you get older you learn. One thing I learned is that the business world spins on seven kinds of money. And before you start chasing, you’d better know which kind you want and more importantly, which kind you need.
Screw You Money
Back in college, “Vic,” one of my favorite instructors taught me about Screw You money. Besides teaching he worked for a big Chicago firm. At one point, he wrote ads and brochures for target audiences of 8-20 people who were charged with spending billions of taxpayer dollars on fighter planes. (The client was McDonell Douglass.) He was a taller Danny Masterson-type (That ‘70s Show)—kickboxer build, thick curly brown hair, baby face and goatee. Couldn’t have been more than 28. Most every coed wanted him. And as an alumnus, most of the department faculty dug him, too. Vic liked the business but he saw the hustle so we clicked like champagne and bubbles.
One day we’re chopping it up over career stuff when he says, “I want Screw You money.” I look confused so he explains. Screw You money is checking your bank statement then telling your clients/bosses, “Screw you, I don’t hafta take this anymore.” Screw You money burns bridges now but build new ones later. Screw You money doesn’t necessarily mean you’re rich; it just means you probably won’t see “poor” unless you develop some really stupid habits or get robbed.
Here’s what else I’ve learned: Screw You money doesn’t rent or sublet. It doesn’t have credit card debt. It definitely doesn’t circle the last and the 15th on the calendar. If you want Screw You money, you should (a) win the lottery (b) marry well and divorce better (c) go into business for yourself or (d) change your priorities and your standard of living.
Now of those, the first one’s a pipe dream, the second’s a headache, but I’ve learned that a combo of the last two just might do the trick.
Back in college, “Vic,” one of my favorite instructors taught me about Screw You money. Besides teaching he worked for a big Chicago firm. At one point, he wrote ads and brochures for target audiences of 8-20 people who were charged with spending billions of taxpayer dollars on fighter planes. (The client was McDonell Douglass.) He was a taller Danny Masterson-type (That ‘70s Show)—kickboxer build, thick curly brown hair, baby face and goatee. Couldn’t have been more than 28. Most every coed wanted him. And as an alumnus, most of the department faculty dug him, too. Vic liked the business but he saw the hustle so we clicked like champagne and bubbles.
One day we’re chopping it up over career stuff when he says, “I want Screw You money.” I look confused so he explains. Screw You money is checking your bank statement then telling your clients/bosses, “Screw you, I don’t hafta take this anymore.” Screw You money burns bridges now but build new ones later. Screw You money doesn’t necessarily mean you’re rich; it just means you probably won’t see “poor” unless you develop some really stupid habits or get robbed.
Here’s what else I’ve learned: Screw You money doesn’t rent or sublet. It doesn’t have credit card debt. It definitely doesn’t circle the last and the 15th on the calendar. If you want Screw You money, you should (a) win the lottery (b) marry well and divorce better (c) go into business for yourself or (d) change your priorities and your standard of living.
Now of those, the first one’s a pipe dream, the second’s a headache, but I’ve learned that a combo of the last two just might do the trick.
It gets dangerous/money ‘n’ power—
it’s changing us/Now we’re lethal, infected with d’evils.
—Jay-Z
it’s changing us/Now we’re lethal, infected with d’evils.
—Jay-Z
