The Ho.
Next up to bat: Hoes, or if you prefer the grammatically correct, “whores.” Note: “Ho” is singular form of “whore” while “hoe” is a garden tool. Grammatically speaking, the proper contraction of “whore” is “h-o”; plural and possessive forms further complicate this. So for simplicity’s sake, we’ll use “ho” for the singular and “hoes” for the plural. Now for the good stuff:
A rich man meets a woman in an upscale nightclub. After some dancing, drinking, and a little charm he asks her, “Would you sleep with me for $100,000?” She sizes him up. “Well, maybe; let’s relax and see where the night takes us.” A few drinks later he offers, “So would you sleep with me for $100 instead?” She snaps, “What kinda woman d’you think I am?!” He observes, “Baby, we’ve already established what kind of woman you are—we’re just negotiating price.”
If you sell yourself, you’re a ho. If you charge a high price, you’re a high-priced ho. If you do it for crumbs, you’re a dumb ho. Hoeing is the world’s oldest profession with pimping holding down second place. Street whores sell their bodies. Corporate whores sell their souls, their talents, their integrity, and yes, even their bodies. (You’d be surprised how many folks—male and female—still use sex to succeed in business.) No matter how tight you spin it, a ho is a ho is a ho. But don’t confuse a whore with a hard worker. The line between the two, while thinner than ever, is still pretty clear.
For years we were the butts of tons of industry jokes. Our mocked acronym/motto was, Bring Back Do Over because that’s what our clients always made us do; and again, as long as the checks cleared, the client was always right. We did what we were told, no matter what we were told. We got yelled at. Talked down to. Pushed around. And we always came back for more. Why? Because a good ho always sticks by their pimp. But we weren’t alone. The business world is filled with companies that’ll whore themselves out to the highest bidder.
In the midst of my own hoishness, another business truth became apparent: Just as many companies and businessfolks are hoes, most clients are tricks. They’re tricks in the same way a man who visits a prostitute or a stripper is a trick. They go to be served how they want to be served. You’re not human to them; you have no real value to them. You are simply a thing, a tool to be used. Your job is to shut up and give ‘em what they want, like a good ho should. And in return, you reciprocate that callousness and ride with the program. Long as the checks clear, you do whatever they want, no matter how wrong or stupid it may be.
As a marketer, a businessman, or even as a lawyer or doctor you want partnerships. You want to use your perspective and expertise to help people who respect what you bring to the table. The last thing you want is servitude and someone holding money over your head and acting like, “When I want your opinion, I’ll give you one.” But unfortunately, that’s how too many companies, especially those in the marketing, ad, and PR industries get down.
Business is about money and wherever there’s money to be made, hoes are never far behind. The business world loves a ho. Hoes are predictable, easy to control and easier to replace. Hoes are a commodity; no matter what you’re offering, somewhere there’s a ho who's good for it. Again, hoes are easy to control because they’re greedy, shortsighted, insecure, or some combination thereof. As a pimp you just have to pull the right strings and you’ll have ‘em wrapped around your finger as long as you need ‘em.
