White Men (Still) Can’t Jump
One day back in 2000, “Skip,” another of my headhunters (I had a couple—I was cool like that) calls me up with, “I have a client who is specifically looking for black talent...” Skip was white, and on the PC side and didn’t want to offend me. “I don’t know if you’re okay with this, but they’re a really good company. They just won a basketball-related account and…” (Basketball and black folks… How original.)
I was told the only way this firm could work this $10 million account is if they had some black employees. Their plan was to stick every black person they had in front of the client and blow ‘em away with street flava. Just one problem: Of the company’s 150 employees only about 9 were black and half were support staffers. Adding me would’ve given them 5 blacks, a couple Latinos coming off the bench, plus a few “down white boys” in the mix.
If I took this gig I knew I’d be getting pimped for quota fodder. (Make your next move your best move—choose me…) But I had an agenda, too: I was trying to get out for good as soon as possible and I needed to save up cash. I figured I’d need this freelance gig plus a half-dozen more like it before I’d have enough to run. Turning this one down would’ve been noble, but I was hustling and cash rules everything…
Anyway, after settling on a fee, I laced ‘em up and went in. One morning “Bernie,” one of the agency’s higher-ups sits me down and runs thru the broad strokes:
The CBA is starting out with a $10 million budget, which is expected to grow annually. They want to start out by targeting young blacks that love basketball. This way, the CBA would create a grimy coolness—a contrast to the NBA’s increasingly global/mainstream-friendly image. The result would attract hip-hoppers and mainstream hipsters who regularly co-opt black culture. (We’ll discuss this practice more in the “Universal Hustle” chapter.)
On paper, our team was suspect. “Craig,” one of two black account execs in the entire shop, was an upper middle-class cat from Colorado. He was raised on tennis, snowboarding, and skiing. All he knew about Kobe was that it was Japanese beef and it went well with Merlot. But Craig was smart—he knew business and he knew people. He knew if he acted a “hard” and dropped a little slang the client might buy it. Next was “Jaime,” a seriously talented designer. She was smart, fast, worked hard. She also thought there were 4 innings in a basketball game. Jaime just didn’t care about sports at all. But again, this is basketball and Jaime was black. (Jamie had a great attitude about race in business: she was good, she knew she was good and it was your loss if you didn’t.)
Because the hoops’ account got off to a slow start—a common occurrence with new accounts—I was asked to pitch in on other clients until things picked up. My gut reaction was to lame up until tip off. After all, they didn’t think I was good for anything else anyway. Besides, there was $10 mill on the line and they didn’t know any other black creatives. What were they gonna do, fire me? But I figured since I put on the jersey and took the money I might as well play. So I came to my senses and got to work.
My first assignment: A vodka project—smoked it. Next up: A telecom project. Nailed it. The next assignment: A cable provider—killed it. Project after project, I lit it up. Business-to-business ads, consumer ads, brochures, credit card stuff, soft drinks, you name it. I impressed everyone at every level and barely broke a sweat along the way.
About 2 months later, one of the VPs calls me into their office. “Look we owe you an apology. We bought you in to work on basketball stuff, but you’re really good. You can work on anything we have. Wherever there’s an opportunity, from now on, we’ll give you a shot.”
In mid-2000 the CBA went belly-up; their $10 million marketing budget vanished faster than Kobe Bryant’s post-rape endorsements. I stayed on 12 more months, worked on some big clients and made some nice change.
Funny part was I wasn’t trying to impress I was just doing me. As a freelancer I get paid to produce no matter what. Plus, where I’m from if you don’t work you don’t eat so you learn to come thru even when you don’t want to. But I don’t think they ever quite got that. But what bothered me the most was that unlike all their white employees, if it weren’t for the whole blacks=basketball stereotype they’d have never given me a shot in the first place.
I was told the only way this firm could work this $10 million account is if they had some black employees. Their plan was to stick every black person they had in front of the client and blow ‘em away with street flava. Just one problem: Of the company’s 150 employees only about 9 were black and half were support staffers. Adding me would’ve given them 5 blacks, a couple Latinos coming off the bench, plus a few “down white boys” in the mix.
Anyway, after settling on a fee, I laced ‘em up and went in. One morning “Bernie,” one of the agency’s higher-ups sits me down and runs thru the broad strokes:
The CBA is starting out with a $10 million budget, which is expected to grow annually. They want to start out by targeting young blacks that love basketball. This way, the CBA would create a grimy coolness—a contrast to the NBA’s increasingly global/mainstream-friendly image. The result would attract hip-hoppers and mainstream hipsters who regularly co-opt black culture. (We’ll discuss this practice more in the “Universal Hustle” chapter.)
On paper, our team was suspect. “Craig,” one of two black account execs in the entire shop, was an upper middle-class cat from Colorado. He was raised on tennis, snowboarding, and skiing. All he knew about Kobe was that it was Japanese beef and it went well with Merlot. But Craig was smart—he knew business and he knew people. He knew if he acted a “hard” and dropped a little slang the client might buy it. Next was “Jaime,” a seriously talented designer. She was smart, fast, worked hard. She also thought there were 4 innings in a basketball game. Jaime just didn’t care about sports at all. But again, this is basketball and Jaime was black. (Jamie had a great attitude about race in business: she was good, she knew she was good and it was your loss if you didn’t.)
Because the hoops’ account got off to a slow start—a common occurrence with new accounts—I was asked to pitch in on other clients until things picked up. My gut reaction was to lame up until tip off. After all, they didn’t think I was good for anything else anyway. Besides, there was $10 mill on the line and they didn’t know any other black creatives. What were they gonna do, fire me? But I figured since I put on the jersey and took the money I might as well play. So I came to my senses and got to work.
My first assignment: A vodka project—smoked it. Next up: A telecom project. Nailed it. The next assignment: A cable provider—killed it. Project after project, I lit it up. Business-to-business ads, consumer ads, brochures, credit card stuff, soft drinks, you name it. I impressed everyone at every level and barely broke a sweat along the way.
About 2 months later, one of the VPs calls me into their office. “Look we owe you an apology. We bought you in to work on basketball stuff, but you’re really good. You can work on anything we have. Wherever there’s an opportunity, from now on, we’ll give you a shot.”
In mid-2000 the CBA went belly-up; their $10 million marketing budget vanished faster than Kobe Bryant’s post-rape endorsements. I stayed on 12 more months, worked on some big clients and made some nice change.
Funny part was I wasn’t trying to impress I was just doing me. As a freelancer I get paid to produce no matter what. Plus, where I’m from if you don’t work you don’t eat so you learn to come thru even when you don’t want to. But I don’t think they ever quite got that. But what bothered me the most was that unlike all their white employees, if it weren’t for the whole blacks=basketball stereotype they’d have never given me a shot in the first place.
At my arraignment screamin’,
“All us blacks got is sports ‘n’ entertainment ‘til we even”…
—Jay-Z
“All us blacks got is sports ‘n’ entertainment ‘til we even”…
—Jay-Z
