Blacklisted
Just as black kids often take comfort in huddling together in school cafeterias, many black professionals do the same over lunch, online, at house parties, etc. We often swap stories and observations, some of which become lists—like this one:
You know you’re Black in Corporate America if:
1. On casual dress days you’re mistaken for the secretary, the mailroom guy or a bike messenger.
2. Colleagues randomly note, “We don’t see color with you. We don’t think of you as Black.”
3. Coworkers regularly compare their suntans to your skin tone, often with comments like, “Hey, I’m finally darker than you!”
4. When coworkers see you talking to other black colleagues they ask, “What was that meeting all about?”
5. While talking to each other in a professional manner they’ll flex their hipness by occasionally talking to you in a Blackcent and/or by using urban slang.
6. After swapping casual greetings with one or more black people, coworkers observe that you know “an awful lot of people.”
7. White colleagues often remind you that they too are “outsiders” and have also overcome “certain social barriers.”
8. They explain your exclusion from certain projects with, “Now, you know we think you’re great, but The Client is old and…”
9. With no proof to the contrary, coworkers assume that you’re a perfect fit for the company’s sports teams, have had or currently have gang/drug ties, or “know people in the music biz.”
10. No matter what, your colleagues “have passion” for their jobs while you (often because you “seem mean”) have an “attitude problem”.
11. Regardless of your track record and credentials, colleagues are consistently “pleasantly surprised” by your successes, but seldom surprised by your failures.
12. Your colleagues can’t help but point out your “obvious” resemblance to random Black athletes or entertainers.
13. It’s because I’m white, right?
14. You regularly have to explain why the concepts of White History Month and White Entertainment Television are redundant.
15. Three words: Perennial O.J. Outrage.
16. You are often trotted out as “proof” that your company’s transparently weak diversity initiatives work or proof that your company still doesn’t need one, even though you’re the only minority there.
17. “We swear your race has nothing to do with you making less than everyone else that you’re outperforming.”
18. Female coworkers politely remind you that when they say, “tall, dark, and handsome” they don’t always mean “tall, black, and handsome.”
19. Three more words: Reverse Discrimination Complaints.
20. Your white liberal colleagues often try to score points with you by randomly noting that sometimes they “hate white people, too.”
S’up, nigga—I mean, “nizzle”!?
Times are changing, but “nigger” remains the ultimate alarm clock. When someone drops that one on you, you immediately wake up and remember that you’re Black in America. Sometimes it’s followed by hand wringing and the typical, “Whoops, I didn’t mean it; you know I’m not like ‘that’,” or “I didn’t mean you I meant them (other blacks).” Other times, it’s followed by more defiant “You (blacks) use it, why can’t we?” or “Get over it; it’s just a word!” qualifiers. But the funny part about “nigger” and prejudice in general is how creative people can be in expressing it.
You know you’re Black in Corporate America if:
1. On casual dress days you’re mistaken for the secretary, the mailroom guy or a bike messenger.
2. Colleagues randomly note, “We don’t see color with you. We don’t think of you as Black.”
3. Coworkers regularly compare their suntans to your skin tone, often with comments like, “Hey, I’m finally darker than you!”
4. When coworkers see you talking to other black colleagues they ask, “What was that meeting all about?”
5. While talking to each other in a professional manner they’ll flex their hipness by occasionally talking to you in a Blackcent and/or by using urban slang.
6. After swapping casual greetings with one or more black people, coworkers observe that you know “an awful lot of people.”
7. White colleagues often remind you that they too are “outsiders” and have also overcome “certain social barriers.”
9. With no proof to the contrary, coworkers assume that you’re a perfect fit for the company’s sports teams, have had or currently have gang/drug ties, or “know people in the music biz.”
10. No matter what, your colleagues “have passion” for their jobs while you (often because you “seem mean”) have an “attitude problem”.
11. Regardless of your track record and credentials, colleagues are consistently “pleasantly surprised” by your successes, but seldom surprised by your failures.
12. Your colleagues can’t help but point out your “obvious” resemblance to random Black athletes or entertainers.
13. It’s because I’m white, right?
14. You regularly have to explain why the concepts of White History Month and White Entertainment Television are redundant.
15. Three words: Perennial O.J. Outrage.
16. You are often trotted out as “proof” that your company’s transparently weak diversity initiatives work or proof that your company still doesn’t need one, even though you’re the only minority there.
17. “We swear your race has nothing to do with you making less than everyone else that you’re outperforming.”
18. Female coworkers politely remind you that when they say, “tall, dark, and handsome” they don’t always mean “tall, black, and handsome.”
19. Three more words: Reverse Discrimination Complaints.
20. Your white liberal colleagues often try to score points with you by randomly noting that sometimes they “hate white people, too.”
S’up, nigga—I mean, “nizzle”!?
Times are changing, but “nigger” remains the ultimate alarm clock. When someone drops that one on you, you immediately wake up and remember that you’re Black in America. Sometimes it’s followed by hand wringing and the typical, “Whoops, I didn’t mean it; you know I’m not like ‘that’,” or “I didn’t mean you I meant them (other blacks).” Other times, it’s followed by more defiant “You (blacks) use it, why can’t we?” or “Get over it; it’s just a word!” qualifiers. But the funny part about “nigger” and prejudice in general is how creative people can be in expressing it.
For example: Back when Snoop Dogg was at his peek, just about every white person I worked with made a point of working “nizzle” into their speech knowing full well it was short for nigger. And whether they were citing rap lyrics or some comedy bit, they’d throw around “nigger” as often as possible. And if a Black person challenged them on it, they immediately hid behind the “I’m just repeating what they said” defense.
Pops saw more than his fair share of prejudice. Growing up he told me said that he’d rather be called a nigger to his face than treated like one behind his back. (“If you’re a bigot, just be upfront about,” he added.) My experiences taught me that corporate folks in particular are quite skilled at doing both.
