Despite $320 Billion Bailout Citibank Screws
Loyal Customers with 30% APR!
Loyal Customers with 30% APR!
So I crack open my mail the other week to find a notice from Citibank. And wait—before we go any further, I've come to the conclusion that Citibank isn't a real bank. They've bastardized the word "bank"—no one's money is safe with these people as they nickel-and-dime folks, left right and sideways. I don't know anyone's that's actually saved money in a Citibank. Or even made money with a Citibank for that matter.
We need a new name for them. How about "Citibank Robbers?" Their logo could look like this:
We need a new name for them. How about "Citibank Robbers?" Their logo could look like this:
There...
Nah, I dunno. On second thought, "CitibankRobbers" sounds cute, but I don't think Citi's actually stolen money from any banks.
Now, they've ripped off customers, taxpayers and even the government. They're good at that. But robbing banks? That'd be a step down for these Citiguys.
Hmmmm.....
I know! Got it. How about:
Citigank. Yeah, much better. [FYI: “Gank” is Chicago slang for to steal, rob or indiscriminately take.]
Anyway, Citigank sends me a letter the other day and the letter goes like this:
“We are making changes to your account terms… To continue to provide our customers with access to credit, we have had to adjust out pricing. The terms of your account will be changing. These changes include an increase in the variable APR for purchases to 29.99% and will take effect November 30, 2009.”
30 percent… That's right, these Citigank summabishes are raising my APR interest rate to 30%. Lemme repeat that:
Citigank is raising my APR 30%. Thirty percent… that’s my reward for being a loyal customer who always pays his bills on time. Thirty percent interest.
Folks, I’m from Chicago. And I know for a fact that the Chicago mafia doesn’t charge 30% for street loans. Seriously, they don’t. Leave it to an effin' "bank" to think a 30% APR is not only normal, but moral.
I swear, if could hit 30% I’d playing for the LA Dodgers… the Padres, at least. But nope... these guys hit me with 30.
And you know what bothers me more than the 30% rate hike itself? That Citigank raised the rates based on my outstanding balance. Not from anything going forward but beginning 11/30/09, I’ll be on the hook at 30% for whatever my balance is at that point. In other words, pay my balance off now, or pay it off at 30% in a few weeks.
This is like a restaurant raising the price of your meal on you while you're eating it.
And if that’s not enough, Citigank is just 12 months removed from a $320
Taxpayers—against our collective will (thank you, congress)—bailed out Citigank to the tune of $320 Billion. But instead of using the money for loans and credit for customers what did Citigank do? Dole out a whole gang of executive bonuses.
Meanwhile customers like me and hundreds of thousands of others are watching our interest rates go through the roof. And the government does nothing to stop these greedy amoral crooks. It did nothing under Reagan. Nothing under Bush 41, nothing under Clinton or Bush 43 and is doing even less under Obama.
Citigank... these leeches… Nah, scratch that. I’ve seen leeches OD on the blood they suck till they get fat and die. Credit card companies like Citigank? They live forever.
Death, taxes and debt—the only 3 guarantees in life, these days. Might as well profit off of 'em, right?
The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but greed is the roadmap.
Once I pay this card off, I’m canceling everything Citibank-related. And I mean everything. I’m cutting these bastards out of my life permanently. They can choke on their money and rot.
Citibank, you can kiss my big, black, APR.
