5. No Whining.
The only thing worse than the angry minority is the whiny minority. You know the ones… they’re always complaining and looking for sympathy. One who sticks out in my head is a colleague I knew named “Kate.” Kate was a white female exec, extremely talented and hardworking and always got the job done.
But she swore she was oppressed 24/7. “When a man is aggressive at work he’s praised, when a woman is aggressive she’s a ‘bitch’…” She’d go on and on like April rain in Seattle. I can’t say that it ever cost her a promotion, but this much I know: people truly hated working with her. Her constant complaining drove people nuts.
Whining just doesn’t help, even when you’re right. No problem ever got solved by complaining. No war has ever been won by whining soldiers and no disease has ever been cured by whining doctors. There’s no crying in baseball and there’s no whining in business—unless you’re going bankrupt.
Change is about action. Be angry. Be upset. Be outraged. But at some point you have to shut up and refocus that energy into constructive action.
The thing women must do to rise to power is to redefine their femininity.
Once, power was considered a masculine attribute. In fact, power has no sex.
—Katharine Graham
6. Forgive.
Business is filled with people doing ugly and hateful things in the name of success. If you want to succeed you’ll have to learn to forgive folks when they hurt you. For all the crap I experienced, I forgave all, not because I’m special, but because I had to. Staying angry was hurting me more than it would’ve ever hurt the folks I was mad at.
Some folks don’t know any better; some know better and just don’t care. Forgive them all equally. If not, you may end up too bitter to succeed; or worse, too bitter to enjoy your success. Whether on the block or in business I never met a successful angry person that didn’t leave a trail of bodies, hurt feelings, or burned bridges in their wake. Don’t be that person.
So if someone screws you, forgive and move on. Again, when I say, “forgive,” I don’t mean, “grab your ankles.” I just mean make peace with it and leave the vengeance to God—you’ve got bigger fish to fry. Besides, success is still the best revenge of all.
If any man have a quarrel against any;
even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
—Colossians 3:13
7. Get in where you fit in.
For every door slammed in your face there’s an opportunity to succeed somewhere else. The opportunity may be small, far away, or require harder work, but it’s there. You just have to be diligent and find it. Why? Because business loves money. It lives for cream. Show ‘em you can put money in their pockets and you’ll find work.
Every successful black professional I know works hard, and not just “hard” but harder than most everyone around them. They have to. Their game has to be tighter than everyone else’s. Their success depends on it. But they know that going in, so they suck it up and do it. Old black folks have a saying, “You have to work twice as hard to get just as far.” It’s still true in many cases, so roll up your sleeves and do it.
Flip your challenges into opportunities and assets. Get in where you fit in and own the space you’re in. And as you flip those assets and opportunities into success, expand, build, and help others do the same. Get in where you fit in; leave holes and blaze trails.
No race can prosper till it learns
there is as much dignity in tilling a field
as there is in writing a poem.
—Booker T. Washington
8. You are not the “Chosen Minority.”
Some Black Americans still believe that because of our history and struggle we’re the only minorities in America that deserve to be respected. Well I got news for you: Pain is pain and everybody’s got their something.
Just as we want America to respect us, we have to be more respectful of other communities, not just in business but also in society. And for what it’s worth, most mainstream folks would rather hire/work with non-black minority professionals, for various reasons, most of which are less than noble. But the way to overcome all of this is to be the change you want to see. Be as inclusive of others as you want them to be of you.
Empower yourself with honesty.
—Cora Daniels, author
9. Find Allies.
No one succeeds alone. No one. For everyone who wants you to fail, there’s someone who wants you to succeed. Build with those folks and ignore then rest. You don’t have to brown-nose; just show that you’re a good investment and allies will find you.
Also, allies come in all forms so don’t discriminate. Yours may be a CEO, a secretary, a teacher, a mentor, or someone outside your company or industry. And don’t assume or expect people to help you simply because you’re both minorities. (Ironically, some of my strongest allies and mentors were white; which just shows that nothing’s as simple as ‘black and white’ and the Lord wants us all to work together.)
We get together like a choir to acquire what we desire.
—Jay-Z
10. Where you go, the whole race still goes.
Don’t sleep on this one because it’s still true. Whether it’s said to your face or behind your back, lot of folks and companies still measure whole groups by the actions of a few. You do indeed represent your community when you’re outside of it. You can view that as a burden or as a healthy responsibility. And again, it’s not as hectic as it was back in the day, but it’s still very real, so recognize and represent.
U…N…I…T…Y…
—Queen Latifah
11. Don’t “happen to be”
Over the years I met numerous black professionals who played the “happen to be black” card. Everything they did was about treating their ethnicity like it was an embarrassing accident just to climb the ladder. And as I said earlier, I played Mr. Potato Head to appease my not-as-inclusive-as-they-claimed colleagues until I realized one thing: It was never going to be enough.
Individuality is your greatest strength in business, especially in the marketing and creative fields; nobody else can be you but you. Don’t try to hide what you are just because someone else might be uncomfortable with it. Doing so adds unnecessary stress to your job and your life. Besides, the folks that will judge negatively because of your race/ethnicity, etc. will keep doing so no matter how much you change for them. So just do you. You don’t have to rub it in anyone’s face or be over-the-top with it, just be yourself.
12. Don’t talk about it be about it.
Over the years, I’ve heard everyone from street hustlers to MCs to VPs talk about changing the game and shocking the system. But whenever the time came to make those power moves, most were all talk.
No more sideline activism and bougie outrage from the “only going for mine” seats. If you can open doors for other qualified people of color, do it. If you have influence over budgets and appointments, you use it. If you can help those who are getting screwed, help. Otherwise you’re no better than the corrupt politician or multi-platinum rapper hiding in their gated community claiming to rep the people.
It’s time to put up or shut up. No more speeches. No more meetings or marches. It’s time for some action. Hire qualified minorities. Support quality minority businesses. Change is action. Action is muscle—start flexing.
You and I have been sitting long enough;
it’s time to do some standing and fighting.
—Malcolm X
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