HustleKnockin'

N-words, white-girl crazy, Ghetto Slang, Dumb Gurus

Happy Monday all,

This weekend I had the pleasure of chopping it up with Bill Green (@mtlb) and Angela Natividad (@luckthelady) of the increasingly infamous Adverb Podcast.

Now originally this was to be a 10 minute quickie riff/mini-show on John Mayer's foolishness; but it ultimately blew out into all manner of whitegirlcraziness including, cultural appropriation, outrageous racial humor (Louis CK,) moronic ad industry gurus (like Alan Wolk),bad marketing schemes, gender politics and more.

Point is, I think the show's worth checking out. Here's the MP3 link. And here's the ADVERVE LINK.(Again, it's not for the faint of heart. And depending on your job it's NSFW. But take your chances, it's good stuff.)

By the way: Adverve is on iTunes. So you can try this iTunes link here, or just go there and search for ADVERVE and you'll find our show.

Black Girls’ Armpits

Black Girls’ Armpits

While in college “Griffith & Boyle,” a small Chesterton, Indiana-based ad agency, offered me $5 an hour to be their creative department’s intern/assistant. Since I never made more than $4.25 an hour I took it.

I was 19 and the only Black person there. I remember being amped about the chance to learn advertising from real professionals. But like most bad internships, all I did was take lunch orders and send faxes and FedExes. (However, one of the art directors did teach me how to manually keyline ads—grease pencils, rub-on registration marks ‘n’ all.) But my biggest job was reminding my boss, “Matt” where he parked his Jeep everyday. Matt was our creative director and a raving bachelor who looked like a younger Magnum P.I. with longer hair and went thru women like Tampax. Matt was often too hung--over or scatter-brained to remember where he parked, so as low-man on totem pole, my job was to locate his car and tell him where he parked. (Don’t ask.)

Shockingly, I didn’t learn much my first few months. But then February came and they asked me to write one of those “we love Black people” billboard ads for Black History Month for a client. Sure it was a little condescending, but it was also a chance to do something besides memorize lunch orders and parking spots. So I eagerly wrote up a few ideas; and low and behold our client bought one. I was barely 19 and I had just produced my first real ad—for the Chicago Tribune, no less.

I remember seeing my billboard in of all places, my neighborhood—maybe 6 blocks from my house. It had my headline, my copy, and a picture of—you guessed it—MLK, Jr., plus the Trib’s big ugly logo. I remember feeling so “whatever” about it that I didn’t even tell anyone I did it. I also remember that billboard being the only project I was ever seriously allowed to work on. Their other projects just “weren’t up my alley” as it was explained to me.

A few weeks later, we’re having lunch at the big conference table; there’re maybe eight of us—half men, half women. Since most of us were single the conversation was often typical men vs. women stuff. Then out of left-field “Bertha,” our chunky, loud, redheaded print production manager turns to me:

“Hadji, why don’t black women shave their armpits?”

Just as I was about to mouth off, I noticed that everyone in the room was staring at me like it was one of Ari Fleischer’s old press conferences. During that awkward pregnant pause a couple things dawned on me: Not only was I the only black person at work, I was probably the only black person most of ‘em knew outside of Bertha’s Chewbacca-armed sistahs. Secondly, Bertha was a lot of things; stupid wasn’t one of them. She wasn’t asking a question as much as she was making a statement. So to keep the peace, I just swallowed my food and bit my tongue.

“Uh, I dunno, Bertha.”

Soon as I said that they all got the same deflated look on their faces, like this was Geraldo Rivera’s infamous Capone’s vault show from the 1980s. Here I was, surrounded by educated grown folks in a profession lauded for its open-mindedness and ability to connect with the masses yet they all believed something this stupid. And worse yet, they believed black folks were so homogenuous that any one of us could explain it. They just didn’t know any better. At least, that’s what I told myself.

I promptly went home and asked my sisters why black women don’t shave their armpits. They looked at me like I was an idiot. Then when no one was looking, I shaved my armpits to just see what it felt like. Stupidest thing I ever did. I itched for weeks. (I’m still not even sure if armpit shaving is a good or a bad thing.)

RIP Jam Master Jay: Jason Mizell Deserved Better

We’re coming up on the 6th anniversary of the passing of Run-DMC’s low-post threat, Jam Master Jay aka Jason Mizell.

As you may recall, Jason Mizell was gunned down on Oct. 30, 2002. The murder is still unsolved.

Here’s a reprint of an article I wrote for Rolling Out magazine in 02. So much of it still rings true today—not just about him, but about so many who've left us so early. Enjoy.

===================================

JASON MIZELL DESERVED BETTER
By: Hadji Williams

Jason Mizell deserved better than this. He deserved better than being murdered by cowards at age 37. His wife and kids deserved better. His partners Joseph Simmons and Darrel McDaniels deserved better. He deserved better than having outlets like MSNBC refer to him as another “slain rapper”. He deserved better than having Bill O’Reilly smugly speculate that his death was drug-related. He deserved better than having mainstream pundits wonder if Mr. Mizell’s death was a re-ignition of the never-was East-Coast/West Coast wars. Jason Mizell deserved better.

Joe The Plumber vs. The Big Payback

Joe The Plumber vs. The Big Payback:
The Endless Courtship of White Male Voters.

By Black Canseco

Make $32K? You're in the top 50 Percent!

Make $32K? You're in the richer 50%

Other new IRS data: While the top 1% of US earners, collectively, make nearly twice that of the bottom 50%, those at the top also pay 13 times more in individual income taxes combined.

By Kiplinger's Personal Finance Magazine

With the presidential election right around the corner, what better time to take a fresh look at how the nation's tax bill is distributed among its citizens?

After all, no matter what the conditions -- war or peace, prosperity or recession -- no issue seems to get under voters' skins more or command more attention from politicians than whether taxes will rise or fall and, frankly, whose ox will be gored.

Jesus Is Not A Democrat Ad

Just in time for the political season...

Faith, specifically Christ gets used way too often by politicians and people looking to paint politicians as good or bad, depending on their own agendas. i think that pretty much sucks and should stop.

lemme know what you think of this one:

Jesus Is not Black Ad

Well, here we go again; where's it written that ethnicity equals holy? here's another ad in the series.

Dear Hiphop: We are All Documentarians

This is an open letter to Hiphop. I wrote it a few years back, but it still reads pretty good. I'm curious as to if it still holds up in today's climate. Lemme know what you think.

WE ALL ARE STILL DOCUMENTARIANS

Back in 1999, I taught a college class on marketing and pop culture. I asked every student to bring in their favorite CD because music is a major gateway into a people’s culture; and in order to market to a people you have to understand them and understanding their music is a great place to start. The plan was for everyone to bring in something they were into—ideally everyone’s tastes was a little different—and we’d all learn a little bit about each other then discuss how those insights could apply to marketing.

As the teacher, I brought in my favorite CD at the time—Slick Rick’s The Art of Storytelling. When it was my turn to play my CD I rushed to the end and cranked up the live version of Lodi Dodi and let it bang. As Rick flowed eccentric, the entire class just gawked at the speakers like it was alien talking. Out of about 25 students around 20 were white and all were under 25. They had no clue who or what they were hearing... Not one of ‘em.

When The Smoke Clearz...

Taalam Acey does it again.

Ghostface: The Original IronMan

I love Playata.com... them cats always come up with cool quotes— like this one:

"A Barack Obama presidency would certainly be a first – the first time that “most black people will end their historic progressive politics and applaud this country’s criminal activity just because the head criminal looks like them.”

“Despite the fact that African Americans overwhelmingly agree with the thrust of Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s critique of American society, history and government policies, they will undoubtedly vote in huge majorities for the Illinois senator that has repudiated Wright.”

—Kimberly Wright
Blackagendareport.com

Good look fellas!

Super Dave is Back.

Not Osborne, that bootleg Evil Knievel comedy cat from the 1980s, but this Dave:

This is beautiful stuff... Good to see him working again. Chappelle is still smarter than 90% of the joke spitters out, even when he's not polished. But you get the sense he's missing that 50 mill, tho...

Then again, maybe not.

Still, he's on a global comedy tour, trying to get his chops back. (and make a few chips.) He's a little off his game in this clip--just sorta riffin' and workin' material out... but you know that once he gets his timing back, he's gonna beast it all over again. Even if he follows the "humanitarian" angle that he touched on in the middle, he's gonna be light years ahead of everybody else.

Smokin' Joe Horn gets all Death Wish on 'em.

Some things defy explanation. Others don’t even wasting time. The story of Joe Horn, age 61, shooting two unarmed black males for breaking into his neighbor’s house manages to cover both categories.

Not only has his (overwhelmingly white) community of Pasadena, Texas come to Joe’s defense, but the police don’t seem to be interested in charging ol’ Joe.

Best part of the case is that Smokin’ Joe actually called 911 to report the break in at which time they told him to stay calm and stay inside. His response: “I’mo get my shotgun and shoot ‘em.”

Listen to the audiotape here. Or here:

Now, B&E (breaking and entering) is a criminal offense—it's a felony in every state that I'm aware of. But far as I know, you can't grab a gun and shoot people who break laws particularly when the laws they are breaking aren't threatening you, your family or any actual human being.

I can't kill people simply because they are vandalizing or destroying property. it's called murder, "pre-meditated murder" in fact.

Now again, the two burglars were unarmed, the neighbor they robbed wasn't home which meant no one was physically threatened or in any eminent danger. Yet Joe cocks his 12 gauge and lets 'em have it—this after warning the 911 dispatcher of his intent to shoot and kill these people. He actually argues with the dispatcher who says clearly, "Property is not worth killing anyone over."

Amazingly enough Joe Horn hasn't been charged with anything. Not murder, not assualt, not criminal use of firearms, not manslaughter, nothing. (Guess that tells you what the police think of old Joe.)

There is no Black KKK, now stop it already!

There is no Black KKK, now stop it already!

Enough with the "Black KKK" references, already. I'm not sure why Black athletes get killed, or why so many black folks die. But I'm guessing that listening to/reading Jason Whitlock isn't going to save any black lives and will do little more than give everyone else ammo to say, "See, it's their fault; they get what they deserve." No matter what happens to "them".

Them of course, being black people, specifically black men.

And there's nothing more comforting than black people who buy into this nonsensical "blame the victim" madness. It lets everyone off the hook and puts the onus for change on the folks who are arguably least responsible for wrecking the situation in the first place.

I guess Sean Taylor had it coming--being gunned down in his own home... That'll teach him to be black and rich.

Anyway, back to this Black KKK nonsense:

There's a ton of reasons for violence; and thank god i made it through some of the worst neighborhoods Chicago has to offer.

But there was no Black KKK on the prowl--black hoods, black masks, no blacks lynching other blacks... no blacks swearing they needed to stop "the black man" from taking over and ruining everything.

None of that. Not once. ever.

Can it all be so simple... Originators Style

Before the guns n butter, rocs and rubber and ice and reign talk. Young Carter was a young man tryin' to find himself. Had a decent compass, too.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give the Jiggidy-Azzz-O and his riggidy-righ-hah-hand miggity man, Jay-Z.

Ah, but then, it was all downhill...

BLACK GIS VINDICATED YEARS AFTER COURTS-MARTIAL ARMY TOSSING CONVICTIONS OF SOLDIERS ACCUSED OF KILLING ITALIAN POW IN WWII

BLACK GIS VINDICATED YEARS AFTER COURTS-MARTIAL ARMY TOSSING CONVICTIONS OF SOLDIERS ACCUSED OF KILLING ITALIAN POW IN WWII

SEATTLE - Black soldiers court-martialed 63 years ago in the rioting death of an Italian prisoner of war at Fort Lawton were unfairly denied access to their attorneys and investigative records and should have their convictions overturned, the U.S. Army said Friday.

The ruling by the Army's Board of Corrections of Military Records applies to four soldiers who petitioned military investigators with the help of two congressmen, but could eventually cover two-dozen more soldiers found guilty of rioting over alleged resentment of Italian prisoners' living conditions on the post.

Samuel Snow, 83, one of the petitioners who served a year in prison, said he was "elated" by the decision.

"It just knocked me off of my feet," Snow said from his home in Leesburg, Fla.

"No, I don't have no resentment over it," he said. "I've just kept myself clean up to this present moment."

‘Overwhelmed with Joy’
The decision could grant the soldiers honorable discharges, back pay and benefits.

"I'm absolutely overwhelmed with joy. You don't often get a chance to pursue justice on behalf of something that happened (63) years ago," Rep. Jim McDermott, D-Wash., who requested the review along with Rep. Duncan Hunter, R-Calif.

In 1944, POW Guglielmo Olivotto was found hanging on wires in an obstacle course following a night of rioting on the post in what is now Seattle's Discovery Park.

Forty-three black soldiers were tried in one of the largest courts-martial of World War II. Of those, 28 were found guilty of rioting and sentenced to as many as 25 years in prison.

Only two of the 28 soldiers are believed to be still alive, said Jack Hamann, who wrote a book on the case, "On American Soil: How Justice Became a Casualty of World War II."

The other petitioners — Booker W. Townsell, of Milwaukee; Luther L. Larkin, of Searcy, Ark.; and William G. Jones, of Decatur, Ill. — are all deceased.

Larkin and Jones were also convicted of manslaughter and their convictions were also thrown out in the ruling, Hamann said.

Comfort for Families
Hamann said the ruling also will give the deceased soldiers marble headstones for their graves, and their families will be entitled to American flags.

"My first thought is, what a shame it is that the folks who this injustice was done to are not around to see this," Hamann said. "And yet I'm so elated that their families will finally know that these men did not commit these crimes."

The lawyer in charge of the case for the board, John Tait, did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment Friday night.

Bill Cosby: Come On, People!

Bill Cosby's got a new book called "Come One, People!" The essence is more of "Black folks, wake up, get up... fix yourself! you broke it, now you claim it."

He's currently on a book tour with his co-author Dr. Alvin Poussaint, consultant from his Cosby Show days... Here they are from a recent appearance on Tim Russert.

Bill Cosby, Come On People, Pt. 1

Personally, I wish Cos were more open in discussing these issues with black folks as opposed to going on MSN, FOX, OPRAH, etc around mainstream America and trying to “explain himself”. it just seems like he's so much nicer and willing to have geniune dialogue to people who almost no willingness to do anything but go, "See I told you so." yet when it comes to the meetings and appearances in the Black community, what do we get?:

"Your dirty laundry gets out of school every day at 2:30!"

"Stop this non-sense! I don't want to hear it!"

"Stop acting like victims and grow up!"

"You made your own beds now lie in 'em!"

Those are just some of the classic Cosbyisms from his book and in recent years. He's talking to Black folks as if we're all spoiled 5 year olds who just want cookies and cake for breakfast, burgers for lunch and a million dollars for dinner. And if you don't give it to us, it's because you're racist and you don't love us.

But that's precisely the tone and style of "Come On..."

KILL A DOG GO TO JAIL... KILL A BLACK BOY GO FREE.

KILL A DOG Go TO JAIL... KILL A BLACK BOY GO FREE.
Hat Tip: Court TV

PANAMA CITY, Fla. (Court TV) — A Florida jury found eight former boot camp employees not guilty of causing the death of a juvenile offender in their care.

The panel of four women and two men deliberated just 90 minutes before reaching their verdict in the trial of seven drill instructors and a nurse accused in the death of 14-year-old Martin Lee Anderson.

Former drill instructors Henry Dickens, Patrick Garrett, Raymond Hauck, Charles Helms Jr., Henry McFadden Jr., Charles Enfinger, Joseph Walsh and nurse Kristin Schmidt could have faced up to 30 years in prison if they had been convicted of aggravated manslaughter.

The jury was also given the option of considering lesser charges of manslaughter, child neglect and misdemeanor culpable negligence — convictions that would have carried lighter sentences.

“We were innocent all along,” McFadden said. “We knew this truth would come out. As Circuit Judge Michael Overstreet read the verdicts for each of the defendants, sobs from defendants’ families grew louder.

On the other side of the courtroom, Anderson’s mother, Gina Jones, shook her head, and his father, Robert Anderson, covered his face in his hands.

The case has polarized Panama City, and throughout the week-long trial demonstrators gathered outside the courthouse, chanting and carrying signs. After the verdict was read Friday, as the defendants and their lawywers spoke with the media, people drove by shouting “Murderers,” and “They know they’re guilty.”

The Anderson family’s lawyer, Benjamin Crump, implied that race was the deciding issue in the case, in which a black teenager died after being manhandled by a group of guards that included whites, blacks and one Asian American.

“You kill a dog, you go to jail. You kill a little black boy and nothing happens,” Crump said.

{Martin Lee Anderson, age 14}

In their testimony, all eight of the defendants said they were shocked and saddened by Anderson’s death. Dickens, one of the two black drill instructors involved in the incident, said he was hurt by the insults that have been leveled at him.

“They’ve been calling me an Uncle Tom, but this was never about race,” he said. “We cared about this kid. The kids are our future. I’m not going to be around for ever. We really cared about that kid.”

Mobb Deep's Prodigy goes down...

Mobb Deep rapper Prodigy has been sentenced to three-and-a-half years behind bars after pleading guilty to a weapons charge dating back to 2006. The G-Unit star — real name Albert Johnson — was indicted on one charge of gun possession at Manhattan Supreme Court in New York on Tuesday, 10/9/07.

I'd listen to Prodigy and he really reminded me of some of the cats i grew up with--the ones with the weird scars on their faces and you knew half of 'em came from their parents and the other half just from falling down and getting knocked down too many times. They got back up, but every time they stood up they were a little angrier than when they fell... then finally one day, they just stayed down. Stopped crying. Stopped getting back up. but still went forward somehow...

Fox News Blames Hiphop for White Teen School Shooting

From mediamatters.org, playahata.com, youtube.com

GIBSON KNEW SCHOOL SHOOTER WAS WHITE BECAUSE "BLACK SHOOTERS DON'T SHOOT THEMSELVES; THEY SHOOT OTHERS AND MOVE ON."

On his radio show, while discussing an incident in which a student shot four people at his Cleveland high school before killing himself, Fox News' John Gibson asserted that "I know the shooter was white. I knew it as soon as he shot himself. Hip-hoppers don't do that. They shoot and move on to shoot again."

On the October 10 broadcast of his nationally syndicated Fox News Radio show, while discussing 14-year-old Asa H. Coon, who earlier that day shot four people at his Cleveland high school before killing himself, Fox News host John Gibson asserted that "because the school is very heavily African-American, I did leap to a conclusion" that "the shooter might have been African-American." Gibson went on to say that he "knew this was not a classic hip-hop shooting" once he learned Coon killed himself. Gibson continued: "Hip-hoppers do not kill themselves. They walk away. Now, I didn't need to hear the kid was white with blond hair. Once he'd shot himself in the head, no hip-hopper." Gibson later stated, "I know the shooter was white. I knew it as soon as he shot himself. Hip-hoppers don't do that. They shoot and move on to shoot again." Gibson added: "I know there's a few of you who want to call me racist. But when you do, remind -- let me remind you, African-Americans are dying in major cities because people won't face this problem."

After a commercial break, Gibson repeated his assertion: "All right, it turns out, though, the kid in Cleveland who did the shooting today -- three teachers, three students -- white." Gibson added: "And I could tell right away 'cause he killed himself. Black shooters don't do that; they shoot and move on."

Later in the program, while speaking to a caller who identified himself as an African-American, Gibson said that "one of the other things that you also don't do -- you being the plural of the [black] community -- is you don't shoot somebody and then kill yourself." After the caller responded, "That is very true," Gibson said, "White people do that." The caller again responded, "That is very true."

HOMEBOYS ARE BACK...

HOMEBOY BAKERY RISES FROM THE ASHES
The business that gives former gang members a chance to change their lives will reopen Tuesday near Olvera Street, eight years after it burned down.
By Tami Abdollah
Los Angeles Times Staff Writer

Eight years after Homeboy Bakery burned down, the business that gave former gang members a job and a chance to break from their past, will reopen Tuesday in more spacious quarters near the Civic Center in downtown Los Angeles.

Bakers were cleaning pans and counter tops Friday as they prepared to welcome customers this week.

"It's going to do a lot of good," said Luis Rivera, 39.

The bakery is only one part of Homeboy Industries, a nonprofit rehabilitation center for former gang members and at-risk youths that was founded nearly 20 years ago by Father Gregory Boyle. The center will be headquartered in the new facility.

The structure "houses what we've become, which is not just a local community center, but a place that serves the entire county of Los Angeles," Boyle said Sunday. "There's not a ZIP Code that hasn't walked through our doors to seek help."

Determining what the facility would include, where it would be and how to raise the money to pay for it have been the main problems that Boyle has faced, although operations other than the bakery have continued elsewhere since the 1999 fire.